It’s International Women’s Day. Dr. Thema Bryant* said, “Forgive yourself for the things you did when you didn’t know better …”
As women, we are usually extremely hard on ourselves, and we tend to forgive others before extending the same compassion to ourselves. Forgiveness is a process that begins with our self-talk.
This process looks like this:
- First, acknowledge the situation. Acknowledging the situation allows us to process it so it doesn’t keep weighing us down and spinning around our heads.
- Bring in some presence—meaning stop, pause, notice our thoughts, sensations in our bodies, images, and memories in a non-judgmental way (Peter Levine). There is a difference between naming our emotions and what we do about them. For instance, it is okay to acknowledge when we get angry. Whatever action we take can be appropriate or inappropriate.
- We can choose to embrace all feelings related to the incident – feelings are not good or bad. Our feelings are just information that can alert us to danger or the conditions that we need to feel safe and happy.
- Lastly, we can decide what action to take and what we want to do about the situation.
Will you change your self-talk and learn to forgive yourself?
*2023 president of the American Psychological Association
